By Stacy DeBroff

Your child practices good sportsmanship when she treats everyone around her with respect, from fellow teammates and opponents, to coaches and referees.

It is as simple as shaking hands with opponents before a game, cheering good plays made by others, and accepting bad calls from referees with grace. It also means learning how to win without gloating and lose without complaining.

• It’s tough to congratulate opponents after losing a competition of any form. Set a good example for your child by congratulating the parents of kids on the other team.
• Point out examples of sportsmanship in professional athletes, and point out why incidents of bad sportsmanship upset you. When a player makes a critical mistake or gets angry, point out what it takes to collect yourself and get mentally back into the game. When a player hoots and hollers after scoring, talk about how badly that makes the opponent feel. If a player gets penalized for fighting or arguing with a referee, talk with your child about how that penalty hurts the entire team. Note examples of opponents acknowledging one another’s good plays
• By emphasizing effort, hard work, practice, and learning from mistakes over the final product, you will enable your child to be more resilient when confronting challenges.
• Even the best kids have moments of appallingly bad sportsmanship, which can often be profoundly embarrassing for you as all parents look your way. Even though you feel frustrated, stay calm when talking to her about her behavior. Listen thoughtfully to your child’s recounting of what happened, whether it was that she got pushed, thought the referee made a bad call, or wanted so badly to win. Let your child know that while it is okay to feel angry or disappointed, there are more appropriate ways to vent these emotions.
• Make sure your child knows precisely what sportsmanship entails, including:
• Abiding by the rules of a game and never cheating or playing unfairly.
• Avoiding arguments with teammates, opponents, coaches, and referees or officials.
• Encouraging teammates, even when they make mistakes.
• Accepting the decisions of game officials.
• Remind your child that all athletes and teams make mistakes and don’t have great games every time. Explain that the true test of a champion is being a good sport after losing a big game.
• Talk with your child about how you deal with your own mistakes, frustration, and disappointment. Model the behavior you want to see in your child. Dedication, sportsmanship, focus, and confidence are qualities she absorbs by watching you. Make sure that your child does not see you or other adults at your house screaming at the TV because of referee calls, or acting out when losing a game you’re playing. Play board games with your child to work on appropriate reactions to winning and losing.
• When bad sportsmanship occurs at a game or practice, discuss other ways the situation could have been handled.

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