DECIDING AMONG ALL THE TANTALIZING POSSIBILITIES

• Between sports teams, gymnastics, karate, dance classes, art lessons, and exposure to a second language, the enticing smorgasbord of possibilities seems endless. Should your child take swimming lessons, join a soccer team, learn to play the piano or flute, sign up for T-Ball, or join a Spanish language or chess club?

• There are just so many choices, all with differing strengths. In fact, it’s entirely too easy to overload our kids’ after-school hours with multiple activities, accompanied by a never-ending number of car trips and inevitable fast-food dinners. Coupled with growing homework loads, free time for children is becoming as scarce as it is for their parents, if not more so.

• Rather than seeing activities and sports as fun ways to engage our children, our generation has shifted to viewing the immersion of children as essential to their future successes as adults.


THINK OF AGE 4-10 AS THE TRIAL YEARS

• Your community likely offers a staggering number of children’s activities. Determining which are best for your child can be an overwhelming endeavor.

• Treat the years between ages 4 and 10 as the “trial years,” a time for your child to explore interests without pressure, discover passions while having fun, and to see what she wants to stick with and pursue further. Aim for a wide exposure to lots of different activities and sports, watching to see what sparks your child’s interest and passion. These are the years to introduce your child to a rich array of possibilities and opportunities.

• Think of how many hobbies, sports, and other pursuits you have happily taken up and dropped across the course of your lifetime. There is an important value in being able to dabble around in a lot of other things that hold your interest for only a stretch of time.

• Allow your child to experiment casually with many different sports and activities and then encourage the ones she seems to enjoy the most.

• Developing interests generally come from an exposure to a wide variety of activities. Aim to allow your toddler and elementary school child many experiences across a diverse spectrum of activities. This way she can figure out what she likes, and begin to define herself.

• Remember not to make sweeping judgements about your child’s abilities or skills when she’s young. Innumerable athletes were told as young children that they lacked the physical abilities to succeed. Ask your child which activities she has an interest in or thinks she might enjoy.


HELPING YOUR CHILD FIND THE RIGHT FIT

• Look for clues about what your child might enjoy by how she spends her free time at home, whether it is jumping and climbing, staging plays, or doing art projects.

• Encourage your child to pursue her natural interests. As soon as your child starts expressing her opinions, let her weigh in on choosing her own activities.

• Explain when financial or transportation considerations limit her choices.
• Agree to a trial period for each activity to see how well it fits with your child’s interests and needs, as well as your schedule.

• Other factors to consider when choosing an activity for your child:

• Does your child know any of the other children participating?

• What do other parents have to say about the class, the organization, and the specific teacher or coach?

• Will your child have time to get her homework done?

• How does your child handle: Risk taking? Losing? Winning? Playing with others on a team?

• How aggressive is she?

• How self-disciplined is your child when it comes to practice?

• Is your child willing to put in the commitment that the activity requires?

• If your child has no particular sport in mind, then you might try enrolling her in an all-sports program at a recreation department or similar facility. This type of program will give your child a taste of several different sports in a relatively non-competitive and stress free environment.

MATCHING ACTIVITIES TO YOUR CHILD’S PHYSIQUE

• Evaluate your child’s body type and physical strengths. Some sports, activities, and musical instruments, as seen in the specific activity sections that follow, require a very specific body type. Some types require being as tall as a basketball or volleyball player while others require being petite like a gymnast or figure skater.

• This doesn’t mean that your child has to fit the stereotype in order to have fun or succeed. Many children come up with ways to maximize their abilities or overcome their physical limitations through determination and skill development. Still other children simply love a sport and do not mind that they may not be the best at it.

• Moreover, your child’s body can change dramatically during adolescence and puberty, with some children not becoming fully-grown until the end of high school.

• If your child is small, find a program which groups kids by size as well as by age. Or if your child is up for it, have her join a team with kids a year younger.

• In many activities, being small is an asset. This ranges from endurance sports like running and swimming, to sports like gymnastics and dance that require agility and balance over strength or bulk.

• Each individual sport and activity section of Part II addresses the typical physique or physical attributes required to either get started or to excel competitively.

THE ROLE AND INFLUENCE OF YOUR CHILD’S FRIENDS

• Find out which activities your child’s friends are doing. If your child is reluctant to join activities, she may be more likely to participate in an activity that she can do with them.

• Establishing friendships and forming peer groups are of vital importance to your child.

• Many kids pick up a sport because it’s social and allows them time with their friends.

• If you child ends up not quite fitting in with her friends’ activities, you’ll need to balance her social needs with trying less popular activities that may be better suited to her interests and strengths.

• One great benefit of activities is that they enable your child to meet other kids from different schools in your town. By the time she reaches middle school, your child will already know many of her new incoming classmates.

• For those children in private school, activities serve as the link to neighborhood-based friendships.


PRESSURE TO FOLLOW THE “IN-CROWD”

• Every community has its passions and at some point along the way, you or your child will undoubtedly encounter enormous peer pressure to join in your community’s most popular structured activities.

• Depending on the activities in your community, you’ll find the parenting in-crowd heading in a certain direction. Remind yourself to help your child pick activities based on her interests, instead of being swept up in the herd mentality. Sometimes your child wants to pursue an activity or sport not in vogue at the moment in your community or among his peers.• Those sports will be highly organized, with extensive parent volunteers, lots of attendance at events, and sign-ups that begin at very young ages. Moreover, these popular activities will have better facilities and equipment, more crowds watching, be intensely competitive, which makes both the kudos and the failures more public, and garner more peer recognition for your child.

• The real issue is whether the activity is a good match for your child. Even if your child does not excel, she may greatly enjoy being part of her peer group.

• Be willing to think outside the box when it comes to choices. Do not limit your choice to the most popular sports; consider alternative activities, such as fencing or Odyssey of the Mind. So what if soccer is the most popular sport in your area? If your child dislikes it, look off the beaten path for an alternative, whether it be archery, karate, or volleyball.

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