Do you feel like a referee at a boxing match when dealing with your children? I know that I have had some moments with my kids, Kyle and Brooks, when I felt like the head of the United Nations! Sibling fights are one of the most common parenting struggles, and some degree of fighting between siblings is inevitable, but by keeping a few guiding principles in mind on how you handle these fights you can help to reduce their frequency. Use these tips from my parenting book, The Mom Book: 4,2788 Tips for Moms to stop being the one who has to constantly break up fights and make calls about who is in the right and who is in the wrong.

 

The best way to reduce the number of sibling fights in your home is to stay uninvolved, short of truly egregious behavior or the threat of bodily injury by one of your kids.

 

Institute a "no-fault" policy in your house and escape the constant role of referee. Make it a family rule that as long as no blood has spilled and no one is about to get hurt, tattling is not allowed, and both kids go to their rooms or different parts of your home for separation, regardless of who started it. Suddenly you'll start hearing whispers along the lines of "I'm sorry, don't tell Mom...we'll both be sent to our rooms!" They work it out on their own, what a concept!

 

If your kids are fighting over a toy or what to watch on television, make it a rule that if they can't agree, the object or desired activity simply gets taken away. Fought over toys land in "toy jail" over the TV cabinet or the TV gets turned off if no agreement can be reached.

 

Never take sides during a fight, or you will promote competition and the dynamic of victim and persecutor.

 

Help your children see themselves as a team rather than as competitors. For instance, when you want them to get up and moving, suggest that they try to beat the clock or beat you as a team instead of seeing who can be the first to do something.

 

To put an end to your children fighting over who gets the biggest part of some kind of food, make it a rule that one person divides the item and the other gets to pick first which half she wants.

 

Then of course, there is the solution I came up last week for my kids who at ages 11 and 13 still manage to fight every time about who gets to ride in the front seat next to Mom. Up on our kitchen fridge went the odd and even day schedule, and the fighting has CEASED. Which makes me one extremely happy Mom!

 

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