By Carol A. Josel

Children learn the importance of family time by our good example. Game nights, road trips, and vacations all send the message that being together is a top priority; however, so do rituals, traditions, and every day actions. Says co-founder/president of the Families and Work Institute, Ellen Galinsky, “The bedtime story, the good-morning wake-up — these are the things that your children will carry with them into adulthood.” Make no mistake about it; it’s the little things that count.

Memory-Making Rituals

Recalls Teaching PreK-8’s Allen Raymond, “My mother always read to me, sang songs, or recited poetry when I went to bed.” Says Pulitzer Prize winner, David McCullough, “I’ve always associated Christmas with a book wrapped at the foot of my bed.” Another ritual worth repeating is one from Dr. Phil: “Every night, the last thing my boys heard before they went to sleep was me whispering in their ears, ‘How do you suppose, out of all the little boys in the world, I got the best ones?’” And did you know that Maria Shriver keeps an old note from her dad in her wallet that reads, “You are special and wise, and your father loves you.”

So you see, it’s not the costly gadgets and clothing, but the quiet times and special touches that linger in our children’s memories. For starters, consider...

• Making pizza night a weekly ritual.
• Taking the phone off the hook and working on a jigsaw puzzle or renting a movie.
• Tucking a loving or encouraging note inside a lunch bag.
• Coming home with a book or a game, served with buttered toast, hot soup, and ginger ale, for a sick child.
• Occasionally on dark winter mornings serving a candlelit breakfast.
• Picnicking by the fireplace on a cold evening.
• Picnicking in the backyard or neighborhood park.
• Planting and tending a vegetable garden together. No yard required; dwarf varieties thrive in pots on decks/patios.
• Taking walks and/or bike rides together.
• Celebrating half-birthdays.
• Creating a family recipe book together—cooking together, too.
• Making photo ornaments every Christmas.
• Holding weekend read-alouds.

Memory Boxes and More

And then keep going. For memory’s sake, make note of each school year, all the special occasions and pretty ordinary times, too, getting grandparents, relatives, friends, and neighbors in the act, as well.

• Write an annual birthday letter detailing the ups, downs, laughable moments, special occasions, turning points, memorable conversations, etc., saving them in a memory box with other mementos.
• Every September, purchase a good-sized plastic sweater box, and, as the school year progresses, fill it with drawings, writings, notebooks, and, of course, the annual school picture. By graduation, you and your child will have stacks of memories waiting for you.
• Get into scrapbooking, pasting in photos, corsages, greeting cards, even a lock or two of hair, thus offering a special stroll down memory lane in later years.
• Keep snapping away, collecting photos of yourself and your family, relatives, and friends through the years, so that you’ll have a visual record of your lives to treasure—and ask your child to put them in albums for you.
• Grab a tape recorder or video camera and make a “living” record of your days together, including interviews with grandparents and great-grandparents, and other family members.

This way, your children will never have to wonder what they were like when little or how you spent your days together. Like a time capsule, your family’s memories will be right there at their fingertips, thanks to you.

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