By Stacy DeBroff
Your child arrives home one day and declares: "I hate school." While this is something most parents will hear out of their child's mouth at one point or another, it is not something parents should ignore. If the issues behind your child's distress are not resolved, the problem can easily balloon up to become bigger and bigger and can result in your child faking sick to get out of going to school. To prevent smaller troubles from becoming ditch-worthy disasters, parents need to look closely at the root of the issue to nip it in the bud.
Clarify with your child what they mean when they say "I hate school." Kids often uses the expressions "I hate..." or "I'm bored..." to mask more complex feelings about something that isn't going well for them.
Behind the "I hate school!" declaration could be a strained relationship with a teacher, a problematic incident with a classmate, a bullying incident, or another serious problem at school that needs to be addressed. Children also frequently try to skip school by faking sick, which can also be a red flag that something's going wrong in the classroom.
The key is getting to the heart of the matter, first through a conversation with your child. Start off by saying, "Well, I can hear how frustrated and upset you are. What lead you to feel this way?" Also, make sure you have a conversation with your child's teachers, inquiring from them as to what they perceive to be the underlying issue.
To discourage your child from playing sick, it's important to avoid giving your child rewards for missing school. Television and phone conversations should be at a minimum when your child is absent from school. If he really is sick, he will enjoy having the time to rest, and if he isn't, he will get the message that staying home isn't fun. If he stays home from school on a Friday, keep him home from friends' houses and activities all weekend to continue resting.
Talk with your child about the reasons that he's pretending to be sick, then go to his teacher or other parents and ask them what's going on at school. Sometimes children avoid school because they're being bullied, are having problems with a teacher, or are worried about their ability to keep up with their classes.
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