Your Child and Bullying

By Stacy DeBroff

Teasing and bullying occurs at all ages and can be traumatic to children. Understanding the situation and effectively helping your son or daughter can be tricky but is able to be resolved. Use these gentle suggestions to help your children through this rough patch of childhood.

It is important to respond supportively if your child admits that he is being bullied. Send the message that you are there for him, you believe him, and that he is not alone in this struggle. Remind him that what is going on is not his fault, and that the blame belongs on the bully.
Young children will have an especially difficult time dealing with a bully because they are not yet mature enough to handle the situation responsibly. In this situation, let the teacher take charge by talking to your child and the bully.
For young children, a situation that includes bullying is the perfect time to practice using emotive words and working out feelings through vocalization instead of physical means.
If your child is a little bit older, it’s okay to hesitate before rushing in to solve the problem for your child. Unless he is at risk of serious physical danger, your involvement may convey the message that your child is helpless to both him and the bully. Before you step in to confront the problem yourself, try to help him solve the problem on his own.
Teach your child to respond to a bully in an assertive, but non-violent way by firmly telling the bully to leave him alone, or turning and walking away without saying a word. The key is showing the bully that your child will not tolerate being picked on.
As a preventative measure, find another child to be your child’s “buddy.” This can be an older child at his school whose parents you know, or just a neighborhood kid to sit with him on the bus.
The best thing you can do is make family and home a refuge, ensuring that your child feels accepted and loved. Be willing to compromise and accommodate special requests, such as taking her to school later or picking her up early.

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1Comment
at Sunday, 16 March 2008 10:38by sagredodp@aol.com

I have thought about this often since the well publicized cases of teenage suicide lately related to the internet, my space etc. I was bullied as was my brother, but our home and our family acted as a buffer. No one could get to us at home. But now, cell phones, my space, IMs, the internet lets it all in. Parents supervise the electronics and media your kids are using and talking about. Be that buffer to give them that sense of safety we all had when the front door closed behind us after school.

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