Blogmic karma

In last week’s post, titled Bloggers, somebody loves us!, I mentioned Kari Henley’s piece in the HuffPo, her impression of bloggers, and just how wonderful she thinks we are. In it, she mentioned how “bloggers are more than willing to share what they know and hook you up.” In other words, what she saw was a community who helps and supports one another.

Having been immersed in the mom blogging community for over four years, my own personal sentiments on this topic tend to be slightly more cynical. But I thought to myself that maybe Henley was seeing it with fresh eyes. Maybe I was missing something. Maybe I needed to refresh my perspective. Maybe bloggers are more generous than I thought.

It was all hearts and rainbows and unicorns.  At least for a minute or two.

Are bloggers as giving as we claim to be?

A week later, I caught a peer’s Facebook status update. It read more like a rant than a status update. She wrote that she was irritated that an old acquaintance had called her to garner some advice about the blog she was starting. She also made it clear that she cut the conversation short and let the caller know what her consulting rates were.

No one tell Kari Henley about this. She thinks we are a community who helps each other out. And this sounds real community-like to me – NOT. 

I was sad when I read this, replete with the dozen or so “You go, girl!” comments that tend to similar rants.  I was sad for my so-called “community” that charges its co-members for simple advice. 

When should you give back?

I know the advice this newbie blogger sought was indeed simple, because she emailed me, too. Questions like, “How can I increase my traffic?” and, “Are giveaways more trouble than they’re worth?” were among her inquiries. I responded in a few paragraphs, never once feeling used, irritated, taken advantage of, or put out.

It didn’t even occur to me to feel annoyed, because I was once her. When I started blogging, I wish I had an entire community of folks to reach out to. Yet I’m not suggesting that an experienced blogger doesn’t have the right to send consulting rates to a potential client. Nor am I saying that she should spend hours donating her time or giving out “trade secrets” to others.

I was just surprised to see a seasoned blogger, one who often speaks of her education and her focus on philanthropy, rant about a fellow community member so publicly on Facebook for all to see. Were all those virtual high-fives she received an ego boost, or did they actually justify her actions? 

Mentoring others is important

Yes, we’re all busy. We all have responsibilities. And we all have priorities. But should we turn away a new community member or charge her for simple advice? What kind of “community” does that?

I know a woman who own a successful multi-million dollar company, runs a household, travels, and does a million things in between. I also know that this woman still takes calls from new business owners who are looking for a little guidance.

You know what? She always makes time to share a little free advice. Not excessively – she keeps control of the call and keeps it short, sweet, to the point, and useful. But she doesn’t send them a bill for a conversation.

What does this woman know that the veteran blogger doesn’t? She knows the power of mentoring and forming relationships.

Today’s newbies could be tomorrow’s rock stars

Like I said, I felt sad when I saw the negativity of the Facebook conversation. But you know, the universe has a way of repaying generous folks. And it doesn’t forget about those who are too above-it-all to remember their own early days. Just call it blogmic karma.

Jill Notkin blogs at The Daily Grind of a Work at Home Mom when she’s not tweeting@AlexCaseyBaby. She is also the Managing Director of MotherTalk division at Mom Central Consulting.