Baby Clothes Lines as Celeb Parenting Trend

I want you to take a minute and picture this: a small nine-month-old baby decked out in a doo-rag, white tank top and low slung jean shorts with his Sesame Street diaper hanging out. It may not be too long until this vision of a mini K-Fed (aka Kevin Federline) manifests itself as Britney Spears has recently decided to come out with a baby clothing line.

It also seems ironic that as soon as celebs start get criticized for their parenting skills or reveal marital woes, they start their own baby clothing lines as a reputation pick-me-up. The day after Charlie Sheen was accused by ex-wife Denise Richards of being a bad father and that she wanted to have full custody of their children, he came out with Sheen Kidz. Of course, this may work against him as the young children modeling his clothes are dressed and posed like adult models, quite possibly humming the Right Said Fred song lyric: "I'm too sexy for my shirt..."

I'll Keep Drinking Poland Spring, I Guess

Has anyone seen the latest Evian advertisement? You can check out this "experience a return to purity" so-called detox campaign at www.evian.com.

Or let me just describe it for you: Imagine beautiful snow-laden French alps and bright clean blue sky. In the midst of this majestic setting lies a beautiful women, outstretched and dotted with snow - to cover up her privates.

Yes, the latest Evian installment (notice past attempt, pictured) is a blissful, serene, eyes-closed, smiling NAKED woman.

Ok, I'm not shocked by nudity (or the implication of it) but come on! Who drinks Evian, mostly? Who do they expect to purchase Evian upon seeing their sexy, new ads? Heck, it's us women!

Boy Wonders and the Parenting Choices that Made Them

Braxton Bilbrey, a seven-year-old from Glendale, Arizona, has become one of the youngest persons to swim from Alcatraz Island to San Francisco's Aquatic Park. Braxton says he got the idea when he saw a story about a boy two years older than him who completed the swim last October. Braxton, a second grader, has participated in a number of youth triathlons. Now, are any of us believing at this point that Braxton the second-grader decided this, or his parents and swim coach?

How does a seven-year-old become interested in doing triathlons over watching Sponge Bob Squarepants on Saturday mornings? Training two hours a day, four days a week? Braxton's next goal is to swim the English Channel.

Rock 'n Roll Mamas: Enough is Enough!

It's simply too ironic that Kate Moss' ex-boyfriend played in a band named Babyshambles. It was at one of this band's performances that Kate was photographed sniffing cocaine. The incriminating photograph got immediately printed in magazines across Britain. Her commercial endorsements dwindled, including being pulled from a million dollar campaign with H&M.

But don't feel too bad for this apparent drug-using, law-breaking mama. Has anyone seen the recent sexy Nikon ads featuring Moss? Plus, Wire Reports recently released the British prosecutors decision that Kate Moss will not be charged with any allegations in connection with the suspected cocaine use in the London music studio. Rene Barclay, the CPS's London director of serious casework, stated there was an absence of any forensic evidence or direct eye witness. Don't you just hate when the camera guy for that infamous photograph runs off?

Wacky but True: Crazy Celeb Mom Potpourri

Pamela Anderson was recently quoted as saying that the stripper pole set up in her bedroom gets more use by her two sons than herself.

Kirstie Alley, meanwhile, was spotted recently coming out of a restaurant with her daughter and son and proceeded to attack the paparazzi with a giant squirt gun and after dousing the photogs in water she flipped them the bird and stalked off.

Cindy Crawford was seen shopping in Malibu with her five year old daughter (gorgeous!) who was wearing what can only be described as very sexy and revealing clothing for a little girl. Think using a crop tie-cardigan as a top.

And no, I'm not done with Britney - she was caught changing baby Sean Preston's diaper on the floor of a Victoria's Secret store. Now that's country!

And if that isn't enough, Denise Richards showed up to an event recently looking like a pirate hooker that had been thrown overboard!

How to be like Lindsay Lohan: No, Thank You

Stop the presses! No, really, STOP the presses! Dina Lohan, mother to celebutante and movie star it-girl Lindsay Lohan, is writing a how-to book on getting your child into Show Biz.

Okay, I'm completely unsure whether to laugh or cry at this one. Granted, Dina Lohan may know a thing or two about getting children (seeing as all three have taken stabs at modeling and younger sis is now turning to singing) into Hollywood but are mothers really going to pick up her book eagerly hoping to turn their children into little Lohans?

The answer, in a word, is yes.

I Wanna Hold Paul's Hand

The news that Paul McCartney and his second wife, Heather Mills, are divorcing after four years of marriage and a 2-year-old daughter Beatrice has made me feel sad...well...eight days a week.

I love Paul! Who doesn't? He's a monogamy-loving, pop music icon. I always admired how romantic he and his first wife, the late Linda McCartney seemed together, forming the group Wings post-Beatles fame. Remember Silly Little Love Songs that had Paul crooning to his Linda, "I love you..." while he flew around the world with her and their close-knit, growing clan of kids.

Black and White Twins: A Study in Prejudice?

It may be hard to believe that these two adorable girls are twins. But, In April of 2005 Kylie Hodgson gave birth to two gorgeous, healthy daughters Remee and Kian. Both had blue eyes, but little else about the girls identified them as twins, let alone even sisters.

Remee is blond and fair- skinned, while Kian is dark haired and dark-skinned. Their picture elicits a double-take: Did someone make the dreaded switch in the maternity ward? (I think Mom worries about this one...) Kylie and her boyfriend Remi were reportedly shocked at the profound difference in their twins. Relatives assured them that Remee's fair skin would darken. However, the differences in the babies only increased as Remee's skin became lighter and Kiana's eyes turned brown.

Mary Kay is Not Okay

Gosh...I thought that this was obvious: teachers should never, ever sleep with their students.

Period. Unremitting passion and true love declarations do not make it okay. Ever. I think of the over 350 teachers I interviewed for my latest parenting book, The Mom Book Goes to School: Insider Tips to Ensure Your Child Thrives in Elementary and Middle School, and the amount of passion they felt about their students. Non-sexual passion, that is.

A recent People magazine featured an update on Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Faulau who have just celebrated their first anniversary as husband and wife.

The Church of Scientology & Its Parenting Snafus

In looking into exactly what Scientology is (and unfortunately, I am still trying to understand just really what it is), I discovered why celebrities are the only people I know who actually practice the religion.

Tom Cruise and new wife Kate (no longer Katie, thanks to Tom), John Travolta and Kelly Preston, Kirstie Alley, and Leah Remini are all stars who support what was first started by American science fiction author L. Ron Hubbard as a self-help philosophy in the early fifties. Today the Church of Scientology presents itself as a religious non-profit organization dedicated to the rehabilitation of the human spirit. Interesting.

Furthermore, the Scientology website proves why, I think, celebrities are on the Scientology bandwagon. In one of the main tenets of Scientology, entitled Communication, the religi-cult states its central belief that the artist, painter, or musician is a cut above man because of his or her ability to communicate with the masses.