A recent Parenting article discusses one of the great questions of parenthood: how many? Kids, that is. And it is a decision that many families struggle with. While for some the decision to have multiple children is a no-brainer, others must think long and hard before deciding whether or not to settle on just one.  (Article: http://www.cnn.com/2007/LIVING/personal/07/19/one.child.enough/index.html)

Although the classic stereotype of an only child is one who is lonely, bored, or spoiled, there are a number of advantages to being an only child, and many families today decide to go that route for a variety of reasons – from a fear of overburdening themselves financially to a lack of time to devote to multiple children to a desire to focus more on work or their marriage. Many other couples struggle physically or emotionally from battles with infertility, illness, or difficult pregnancies.

These families, however, often face not only questions, but criticism – from their parents, their multiple-child-bearing friends, their child himself, and, sometimes, even strangers. While this can get to a parent who may already be struggling with their decision, the article cautions that once Mom and Dad are secure in their decision, the pressure shouldn’t affect them.

In fact, you shouldn’t care what others – even your own parents – think – especially when you and your spouse are the ones who have to raise the child. (How soon grandparents forget the daily struggles.) It’s also important to take joy in the multiple births of your friends and let go of the jealousy of having only one yourself. As for that lonely only child – remind him of the perks he enjoys being sibling-free (and if you have trouble thinking of some, just ask any child who has a sibling about the disadvantages– they’re sure to help you out), and make sure they have plenty of time to interact with peers. And, well, as for strangers – you probably don’t have to answer to them.

Eventually all couples need to ask themselves some questions – such as how many children they can manage  financially and emotionally, how kids fit into their work schedule and plans for the future, and how much time they have to put off having more kids. Once you make your decision, though, don’t feel guilty or believe that you need to explain yourself to others. Families come in all shapes and sizes, and, like anything else, the secret is finding what works for you.

Of course, if you’re still not feeling great about the decision you’ve made, you could always volunteer to babysit a few more kids for the afternoon to remind yourself why you made the decision you did. Hey, if you’re interested - mine are available.

Image: Getty Images

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