Larger Families Across America

By Stacy DeBroff

Gone by the wayside is the nuclear family of 4 that was considered the American ideal. Instead a strong new trend has emerged among middle and upper class families to have 3 or more kids. Almost 1/3 of all American babies are now born to Moms who already have at least 2 kids. All you have to do is go to the pool or beach tomorrow and see parents arriving with 3 or 4 kids in tow, tumbling en masse out of large SUVs or minivans, often with double strollers, to see this trend in action.

WHY “BIG IS SUDDENLY IN” FOR SUBURBAN MIDDLE AND UPPER CLASS FAMILIES

WE HAVE HIGHLY EDUCATED AND FORMER HIGH POWERED CAREER MOMS AT HOME
~ Dads making enough money for family to afford one parent home full-time
~ Justifies the stay at home mom: go for the gusto: No wonder I cannot work: look at all the kids I am managing, who I adore but consume all my time. 3 kids is more common in families who can afford a stay-at-home mom or mom with flexible part-time work. Plus, with the affluence to having full-time help with the driving, logistics, and housework. It is easier to justify opting out of the workplace if you have lots of kids to look after. Plus, it’s like having your own team. When see bigger families around you, pressure to keep up with everyone else. After all, managing a bigger family can be a lot like managing an enterprise, with schedules and budgets and direct reports (of the offspring and household-help varieties). Able to afford a big family on one salary. It is tough to work full-time with 3 kids because it has too many demands. 3 kids has become more common with a mom at home to run around after them.

IN OUR CHILD-CENTRIC CULTURE: REFLECTED GLORY ON THE PARENTS
~ Kids accomplishments have become viewed as parental successes. The more kids, the more successes you have. It’s about the parents’ egos when kids become trophy items.

Having 3 or 4 kids can also become a status symbol of wealth, like having a big house or driving an expensive car. Plus, affluent families can rely on a nanny, or housekeeper to help out. More affluent parents are wanting more kids, the sort of trophy items like a big house or expensive car. If they can afford more kids, they figure, why not? Plus kids give more love than stock holdings. Remember the old phrase Keeping up with Jones’? If they have 3, and you only have 2, how can you be as successful as them? But as with so many things, we confuse 'more' and 'better.’

HIGH DIVORCE RATE & FERTILITY TREATMENTS
Over 1/2 of all women have a child after remarrying. Also In age of fertility treatments, many twins and triplets are being born – almost 50 percent more than a decade ago.

ISSUES TO CONSIDER BEFORE GOING FOR THAT 3RD

CHANGES IN PARENTING DYNAMICS
This Big Family Comeback means the kids outnumber the adults! Choosing 3 kids means you have to shift from one on one to zone defense, it's a whole different method of parenting. Younger kids spends lots of time on the sidelines at older kids sports events and carpools.

CREATES A MIDDLE CHILD
~ Middle Child Syndrome is very real, and middle kids can grow resentful. If you have kids close together, this can be a real problem. More families of three mean more middle children. Unlike the oldest or the youngest, the middle child will never have a chance to be the only kid in the family home and feel short-shifted when it comes to parent attention.

THREE’S A CROWD
You will triangulate sibling relationship, and there will always be one child left out will be, but there will most of the times be an instance where one child is left out.

FAMILY LOGISTICS GET HARDER
With kids of different ages, you might not be able to do the same things with all of them. Babies can't do the same things the older kids can do. Logistics can be much more complicated. Hotels normally only accommodate 4 people per room. It becomes expensive to fly everywhere. It's hard to get a table for 5 in a restaurant. You may have to expand your home, add that other bathroom.

FORCED TRADE-OFFS
~ You can work part time with 2 kids. With 3, it gets significantly harder.
~ Your time gets absorbed by your kids.
~ You end up being a chauffeur, driving your kids around.
~ When you have 3 kids, going back to college is less realistic. ~ Suddenly you can only allow only one sport per kids. That's all the logistics that your family can accommodate.
~ This 3 becoming the new 2 is changing the way a family does everything.
as "dilution of parental resources," which holds that as parents have more children, their per-child dollop of attention and money is reduced.

The positives of three children is the love, commotion, and energy of a house full of kids. People have, after a period of fixation on career, rediscovered the wonderfulness of families with all their bonding and laughter. Plus, with extended families living further apart. To get big family feel, have to create your own clan.

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