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About to Lose my Mind! (1 viewing) (1) Guest
Because parent involvement is the primary predictor of school success, even more so than educational reform, you need to take a vested interest in continuing your child\'s passion for learning at home. Share information on encouraging setting television and internet safety limits, delegating homework time, and teaching test-taking tips and study skills.
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TOPIC: About to Lose my Mind!
#4333
MomCentralInternMatt (Admin)
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About to Lose my Mind! 6 Months, 3 Weeks ago Karma: 0  
I am having some major issues with my 8 year old son. Let me start off by saying that he has been diagnosed with ADD. He has got such a bad attitude towards everything. We ask him to do something, he pitches a fit. Over anything. He gets so mad. At school, when something happens, it's always someone elses fault. My husband and I decided to make up a points chart to help encourage him to do his chores and show him what doing his chores will bring. We went out and bought him the game "Guitar Hero" and the guitar to show him what he has to look forward to. That was nearly 2 weeks ago and he still hasn't earned it. I am just going to take it back to the store to show him that I am not messing around. I am fed up. He is mouthy, smarts off, back talks, raises his voice, hits his sister, gives dirty looks, and so on. So as far as groundings go,....they don't work. It has gotten so bad to where I don't even want to buy him anything. Anyone out there have any ideas on how to get my little boy back on track?? Should I take his game back to the store to show him that I mean business or is that just cruel?? I am so lost right now and at my wits end!! Please help!
 
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Paula (User)
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Re:About to Lose my Mind! 6 Months, 2 Weeks ago Karma: 2  
sounds like my kids.

My 12 year old has no appreciation for "luxuries" in life. He has a tv, video games, toys (3toy boxes), dvd's, ipod, you name it he has it. I take it away and it doesn't matter.

I think maybe what you are looking for in his "attitude" is the "yearn to learn"?

Keep up with the take away and reward system. Only maybe make the rewards easier to get- start small- let him play his "new game" for only 5 minutes when he does something you ask without complaining. Find something small that he has done good (even if it's turning off a light in the room) anything. Once he gets a small taste of the fun he's missing out on he may want to do more to please you.

My daughter is a toughie! She's hard to please and will be happy and content to be sent to her room where she can, will and does destroy her stuff- by writing on it, breaking it or just throwing pieces around. I have cleaned out her room on different occasions, by stuffing ALL her toys in a bag and leaving her only 5 toys to play with. She destroys them, she doesn't get new ones.

we are still trying to figure out what works for her.
 
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Re:About to Lose my Mind! 6 Months ago Karma: 0  
I decided to follow my passion after having my son...I enrolled in college and began taking classes in psychology and social work...mainly because I wanted and still do want to be the best mom I can be...the MOST important and proven action for your child with ADD is to NOT respond to ANY NEGATIVE behaviors PERIOD. When all is calm...take him and hug him and smile ALWAYS SMILE when you speak to him (and believe me you MAY need to do your BEST "academy award winning acting"-but let him see the love you have for him) and regain his trust. YES I said it REGAIN his trust...your sons "disorder" is simple to explain but will take much time for him to understand...once he does his anger will subside to minimal or no reactive actions...SIMPLE? His brain has a connection which is similar to "detour on the road." This is what creates the many symptoms of ADD...using prescription medication has been effective in treatment (TRUE ADD diagnosed patients are not incapable but highly incapable of many physical characteristics of addiction, whether there is a history in the family or not...the TRUE ADD diagnosed person "learns" almost ALL of (addiction, compulsive, etc...) the behaviors many fear will become if a child uses the amphetemine medication. I will assure you, I to have ADD/ADHD, which until 11 years ago had been masked by more than 28 "mental disorder" diagnoses...With a lot of determination (mine) and a QUALIFIED and DEDICATED counselor I persevered...I have never had an urge to become like some relations, alcohol dependent, criminal activity, etc... I could not focus long enough...and my mind would just go all day...so you see your son has a brain in over drive with 50 things to do...while the "normal" person may have a few things to think about...then they do it and forget it...what happens in the mind of an ADD diagnosed person is 50 things...and skips and repeats...but the action to do these "to do's" is not taken because the brain is on the "detour"...it does not have this piece of puzzel...so it skips like a scratched record...I hope this will help you and any others who read this...Training your brain starts when the person is taught what ADD IS and IS NOT...it will be a lot easier to move ahead...but it is not a jaunt...it is a long trip...which will be MORE than worth your families time...If you would like more information seardh the web...but focus on the causes...and the physical "brain"...you will sort it out...take care!
My thoughts and Prayers are with your son,
luv
 
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