By Stacy Debroff
As we all remember, adolescence is one of the most difficult periods of physical and psychological growth children ever go through. During these years, kids really begin to develop their self-images and identities as young adults. Accordingly, self-esteem becomes a huge issue for adolescents as they develop socially and struggle to find their true selves. It is important for parents to monitor their child's progress in this area to help them maintain a positive self image and high self-esteem, even as they stumble though the tumultuous adolescent years, while also giving them space and room to grow and develop on their own.
As a parent, if you see your child appearing to conform to the masses, remember that this is probably a transient phase, not a permanent characteristic.
Model your values and speak up with your opinions. Lectures are not likely to get your child's attention, but there are other ways to get your thoughts heard. If you see a television character make a bad decision, or see his friend lighting up a cigarette, it's okay to say you disagree with that choice.
Let your child know that his friends will probably wind up valuing his opinion more if he speaks with his own voice and acts from his values. Most likely, they're feeling the same way, but are too timid to say anything.
Foster your child's self-esteem by supporting his independence. Encourage him to get involved in extra-curricular activities that introduce him to different crowds than those he deals with during the school day.
When it comes to standing up to peer pressure, tell your child he can always lay the blame on you. Let him know it's an effective excuse to claim his parents want him home that night or he'll be grounded if he breaks the rules.
A lot of what goes on today in schools counts as teasing, and many bullies will excuse their actions by claiming that they "were just teasing." But teasing is meant to be amusing for both parties. When one child feels hurt or picked on, it's a case of bullying and aggression.
The other child may not know that his actions are hurtful. Even the seemingly goodhearted teasing that goes on between good friends can leave one feeling upset. Kids often respond to hurtful teasing in the same way they respond to bullying-by turning inward or lashing out, or putting up a host of defense strategies. Before the problem escalates, help your child to confront the issue.
Image from: Westchester Gov.
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